Presuming Success for Less Stress

conflict stress Oct 12, 2018

Here's a great way to remain calm and under control the next time things become tense between you and your special someone.

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Don't Lead with No!

Uncategorized Oct 05, 2018

Here's a simple technique you can use instantly to help reduce stress in your relationships.

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After a Pregnancy Scare

boyfriends commitment Sep 15, 2018

Dear Andrew,

I am in the relationship that I believe will be THE ONE for me. My boyfriend has let me know on several occasions that he agrees with me. We are both 24 years old.

Three months after we met, I felt so strongly about him that I couldn’t help but want to tell him. And I started my declaration with “I know you might panic when you hear this but...” and I don’t remember what I said, but it was somewhat of a love declaration.

He did not panic. Actually he said, “I don’t panic that easily, you know. The only thing that would make me panic would be you telling me you’re pregnant.” And then he added: “But when I think about it, that wouldn’t be that big a panic either.” I was impressed with his attitude. I took it as a sign that this relationship was indeed as serious as I thought it to be.

Then two months ago I had a pregnancy scare. A pregnancy test turned out negative, but I had to take it again in a couple of...

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My Parents Don't Like My Boyfriend

Dear Andrew,

I am nineteen years old and I’ve been dating my 21-year-old boyfriend for about a year. We get along great but the only problem is my parents don’t like him. That bothers me because I think it should be up to me who I date. He’s fun to be with and says such nice things. My parents want me to find someone who goes to college like I do, or at least has a job. But it’s not like he doesn’t want to work. He had a part-time job at a store but that ended last summer and he hasn’t been able to find anything even though he is looking. This is the first time I’ve had this problem with my parents and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve never really fought much before and I don’t like it. My boyfriend is cool about it, though. He just laughs when we talk about it and says not to worry about it, but it still bothers me. Any advice?

Signed, Unhappy

Dear Unhappy,

I can understand why you feel torn. It sounds like...

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Is It Wrong to Settle?

love money Sep 01, 2018

Dear Andrew,

I wonder how many women out there have ‘settled,’ meaning they are not in love and never were with their partner, but because of finances or some other reason have settled. Is that why there are a lot of women out there that lose themselves in Harlequin Romances? Is that why they find themselves in chat rooms on the Internet, or worse, at dating sites?

I have two sons of 30 and 32. Both of them have been dating a special girl for several years. I know they are not happy, and when I had a chance to talk to them alone I told them how I felt. I said, son, don’t settle! If you’re not absolutely in love with this woman, keep going. If your eyes don’t light up when she enters the room, keep going. If she is gone for three days and you don’t miss her and yearn for her return, keep going. Don’t settle! Not only are you being unfair to yourself, you’re also doing her an injustice.

That’s the advice I gave them.

Sadly, I...

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Guilty Dreamer

breaking up guilt obsession Aug 25, 2018

Dear Andrew,

I am happily married but I have been dreaming for years about a former sweetheart. Troy (not his real name) and I dated a long time in real life and both broke each other’s heart.

He and I are always together in this recurring dream and things are wonderful. Then I ask him where his current girlfriend is and he says it didn’t work out. I feel torn because I like his girlfriend. Troy professes his love to me and I am happy because we are together.

The other night I had a new dream. Troy and I were together and he was having a hard time leaving me. I told him go to his girlfriend and love her because I already had my chance with him and I blew it. His girlfriend told me that our friendship needs to be put on hold because of everything. I cried in this dream the same way as I did when Troy and I broke up many years ago in real life. All my feelings and my thoughts in this dream were so real. Then I woke up so sad.

The thing is I rarely have any contact with...

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Living with a Perfectionist

conflict spouse Aug 18, 2018

Dear Andrew,

What have you got to say about bossy, perfectionistic, high achieving spouses who think they are always right...and are, indeed, always right? How do the rest of us stay sane when the person we're crazy about is a merciless perfectionist?

Signed, Trying to Measure Up

Dear Trying,

We need food, preferably something fresh out of the oven so the aroma will waft throughout your home. Hot biscuits? Yes, they will do nicely. Set them right there next to your computer, or your phone ... whatever device you're using to read this.

You're also going to need some way to lock the door to that room you're in ... from the outside. When your husband follows that biscuit smell in here, you clear out, lock the door and leave him with me. And don't worry about any noises coming from this room. If you hear him scrambling frantically against the inside of the door or screaming words like, "Nooooooooo!" ... well, that's just the two of us having some fun. It's nothing to concern yourself...

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The Affair-Proof Marriage

Dear Andrew,

Several months ago my best friend’s husband informed her that he had been having an affair for over two years and he was leaving her for another woman. Just recently another friend caught her husband cheating. This couple has not separated yet but I won’t be surprised if they do, and soon. She’s so upset that I don’t see how they can last. I thought both of these couples were happy together. My husband and I get along fine and I’ve never worried about him cheating on me, but all of this has made me realize it can happen to anybody. Now I find myself terrified I’m going to end up just like my friends. What do you think -- CAN it happen to anyone?

Suddenly Insecure

Dear Suddenly,

There may be a couple of reasons for your email. You might have a sneaking suspicion about your husband that you’re not willing to admit in writing, or maybe not even to yourself. If so, there are a number of common signs you can look for to tell...

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